Trying to work and falling asleep on my computer. I'll push ..
Added 2020-07-19 18:50:16 +0000 UTCTrying to work and falling asleep on my computer. I'll push the live to a day I'll feel more energized. Just so you know what's going for me is that I learnt yesterday that I probably have Asperger's syndrome but that I'm lucky to be very high functioning, meaning that my IQ is high. I cried a lot yesterday and today reading and watching women talking about their experience. How most women are not or misdiagnosed and that all the tests are based on men, like most research, this is not unusual. Nobody would have said so for me because I'm really good at reading people and I don't have problems with language, quite the opposite, I'm a linguist freak. My theory is that I used my very sensitive observation to learn from my environment in my childhood and mask my difference, like most little girls. I have social anxiety, my all life is rocked by anxiety and now I know why, this is such a relief. I'm not sad for being different, I'm happy I know what's going on with me and very proud to have made it until today in a very impressive way. I'm so fucking proud of the life I've had being exhausted my entire life. Masking is exhausting, my high sensitivity is exhausting. I can stop pretending now and stop looking for excuses for being tired, anxious, or not feeling like doing things like other people. I'm a weirdo, a creative, sensitive, smart, and cute weirdo and that makes me very happy. I let you with my butt as a consolation for not seeing it live.
